well im about to crack. my parents are getting a divorce, i think my father is sleeping around, and i have to be weighed down with all the shit. i have to think about how the fuck im going to face my father cos i know he is going to tell us at the last minute he is walking...and my mother is being a bitch and just cos he life is going to the shit, the rest of us have to hear it. oh and every day i have to hear about some long fucking conversation my mother had with someone and it drones on and on and ON. i have to hear her say something like "you just dont see the big picture, this is REAL, things have to start changing", when i say something like "im going to peters house" or something else TOTALLY non-related to her, i have to hear her make it all about her again and dramatise it just cos her life is falling apart.

and today, i was woken up by alana to go and pick mum up (my mother cbf driving and also she doesnt want to pay for parking), so i drove in, and she asked what i had for lunch and i said "3 party pies" and she then whined about how there is so much food in the fridge...but you see, there isnt. there is FUCK ALL in the fridge and there is nothing to eat in the cupboards. but this stupid whore who cbf doing anything doesnt want to concede to that. anyway so im getting angrier and angrier listening to her shit and whining and so im driving a little (read: a lot) over the speed limit and then she moans about her right as a person to have a safe drive home. just go fuck off mum i dont want to hear it. then she starts slinging shit like "well im SORRY you are in a shitty mood cos you didnt go get to see your 'best friend peter today' (she puts on a stupid baby voice) but its not my fault you two are fighting"...which for the record we arent right now, he and i are fine. so its times like these, after weeks of he whinging and whining that i just have to say it, so i said "well i can see why dad wants to leave u"...and then she starts her threats: "ok christopher, if you want to start being bitchy (huh? ME start???) then all bets are off (that last bit is her catch phrase), you can get your own food, you can pay your own petrol..." she said some other shit too but all i heard was "blah blah blah im stupid slag blah blah blah im a stupid slag blah blah blah"

anyway so now, i need to get out of here, i cant take the shit anymore, i cant take the pressure. i asked a friend of mine if i could stay at their place for a while, but i didnt get a straight answer, which is fine, im not expecting to be able to just go over and stay with someone without notice, i realise im not in darwin anymore. so now i am packing my uni bag with my notes (cos i have to study for a test on tuesday) and later i will head out to find a carpark somewhere away from here, so i can study and hopefully get some decent sleep.