Sunday, December 25, 2005

aww i got such nice presents from my best friend and everyone else today ^_^ i hope they all enjoyed my presents i gave them!!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

"4dec04m" by Saskya on Flickr

merry christmas everyone!!!

"IMG_0967" by carsten_franz on Flickr

wannna see something cool?...this is the storage tower for finished vw 'phaeton' models waiting to be picked up by customers...the entire factory is transperant and a very beautiful sight to see. definately go here to see pics of the factory and the construction process. very very nice vw, probably the most beautifully engineered and efficient car plants ever.

"Champagne Bubbels" by !.keesssss.! on Flickr

Thursday, December 22, 2005

eww wanna see something really screwed up?...check this fish with two mouths!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

whoa i was so lucky today!!...i was doing these two aptitude tests at uwa, and i was in the parking lot, but i had forgotten change for the ticket machine...and i was like "oh shit!!" anyway i asked a guy in a really beat up car that had just arrived if he had change for $5 and he said he didnt, but then some lady was coming up to us calling out "hey, hey, do any of you need my ticket? its valid to 4.30pm" and the guy said "looks like your saved mate!" thanks to him...but yeh it was lucky she came along or i would have missed the tests v_v

Monday, December 19, 2005

haru wa sokoni kiteita

Sunday, December 18, 2005

love is so strange...

Saturday, December 17, 2005

hmm...idno if im making yet another mistake today...or doing the right thing *sigh*

Thursday, December 15, 2005

omg...i just heard something very very fucked up. there is a news article in todays paper saying that a lady went to a cinema, and sat down in the seat and felt something funny so got up, and found a needle with a note saying "you have just been infected with HIV".

other occurrences have been found of this happening and when tested, the needles were in fact positive for HIV

i feel so sorry for the lady if she is infected now, i cannot believe how some people can do that, can be so unhappy and so angry, so evil and criminal to inflict their own pain on somebody else. somebody so innocent as a woman or even child going to watch an innocent movie. sometimes, i wish for capital punishment in this country. ino i got upset about van nguyen and how capital punishment is wrong, but some people are just so inhumane, they deserve nothing more than to rot in a cell or die.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

well...theres no reason to go on now. i have yet again failed 2 units at uni after trying my hardest. my gf dumps me because i couldnt make it to her house 2 nights in a row. i guess it is my fault, but im not saying it isnt for the best. one thing that does pain me deeply is that i have lost a great friend of mine. i want to express my pain at having to part with my best friend. things between us have been crumbling for some time now. i have been unable to trust him, unable to be open with him. i guess people just change. i have been sitting here for an hour, wondering if the decision i made was right. if i had made the best decision. and to tell the truth, for once in my life, i really dont know. i love and care about peter a lot, he is my best friend after all. but when it is time to draw boundaries as to when to stop caring for another person if they do not share the same care and/or affection? its not that he doesnt think he is showing it, its that he isnt, but still thinks he is. the decency, the reliability, the shoulder i need to lean on isnt there anymore. i guess i shouldnt blame him, i mean, i am rude, arrogant, stuck up, expectant. my friends say that that isnt true of me, but i think deep down they are just too kind to say it as it is.

i dont get things in life. i dont get how i can be so fucked up sometimes, and ok other times. normally, i would just shut myself in my shell, not let anybody get to me, and keep continuing to exist. but this is so different. i have been crying for hours, trying to get things out of my system. my heart tells me i have made the wrong decision, but my head tells me i have done the right thing. why should i give a stuff about someone who doesnt appreciate me, doesnt even give me a call once in a while without having to be asked to. but then again, how can i even think of giving up a friendship with someone i care so much about. i wonder to myself why i stick around if he doesnt call, doesnt care enough to find out how im going, doesnt want to do anything, doesnt seem to care if i see them tomorrow or in 5 weeks. i cant seem to live a day without wondering how pete's going, what he's thinking, what his day has entailed. maybe im stupid and weird? i think i just care about my brother. i get stuck between thinking i should give up on him and move on because he is so selfish and immature, but drawn in because he is my little brother and it's my duty to always be there for him as i have promised.

i have spoken to some of my friends, and they wonder why i am still hanging around. but they only know me as what i used to be when i left darwin, someone cold and callous, able to switch off my emotions if necessary. but since coming here, i guess i changed, i guess i lost the ability to switch things off cos they matter ot me more. to tell the truth, i dont want to lose him as a best friend. i think aside from all the crap, there is nobody that i get along with better. when we fight, we still stick together. when we are happy, of course we are together. my friend was asking me how my holidays were going and how was peter...and i explained to him how i had broken away from it. and he could understand why. he couldnt understand why i had broken up a friendship that was so close. but people dont always know whats going on underneath, dont see the pain and suffering that silently goes on while people keep up their facade.

i still am undecided about what to do. i have been trying to work at fixing the little things over the past 12 months. but nothing has really changed. i try and talk and figure things out, but i never seem to get to have time to talk about it, something else always comes up between him and me. should i waste my time trying anymore, or am i stupid to even be in this predicament in the first place? someone told me to weigh up the good against the bad, and i did that. but then i still couldnt convince myself that it was any reason to break up a friendship, some words on paper. i want things to change, but i dont know how to make it happen. i dont know how to be happy, and him be happy too. its either him happy, or nothing in his books. take this situation: we were deciding on what movie to watch. i said to him that he should pick. he picked a crap movie in my view and i said pick another. so he told me to pick. thats the way it works for him. thats fine by me. but when it comes to sorting something out, i say to him that we have to work something out. so he tells me to work it out, at which point i ask him if he will try at what i decide, and he says yes. but if i pick something that doesnt suit him, he doesnt try, and he doesnt want to try and sort it out. i just dont know what to do anymore. i dont know why i am the one who has to take on the responsibility all the time, and then when i try and figure things out, he doesnt want to know about it if it isnt his cup of tea. i just dont know what to do anymore. someone please help me.

if i had what would be best, i would still have a best friend, and we would be happy all the time. there was once a time when that was the case,but alas, that is long behind us now. and i dont know why. we always said best friends forever and that nothing would ever come between us...i never thought that the day would come where it would be so hard for me to like him.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

i am so outraged by whats plastered across the news lately, about the foreigners uprising against white society, ganging up and inflicting our peaceful culture with anger and hatred. i am half asian (indian to be precise) and half aussie, so i have a right to speak for both asians and aussies, and i want to say that anyone who comes here, and thinks that the law doesnt apply to them, or even those born with a descent other than australian, and think they have some message to tell or whatever the hell they stand for, they can just get the fuck out of this country. these latest spates of lebanese fuckwits ganging and bashing people, stopping drivers in their cars, going and smashing shop windows. this is NOT on. australians retaliating with violence shouldnt be accepted either. but to have people thinking they can come to this country and do this, they should be shot. australia used to have a very effective "white australia" policy, and i only wish that could be enforced in a more constrained way. rather than having foreigners disallowed, let them come (unless they are troublemakers to begin with) and if they, or any of there descendants cause trouble within australia's bounds, they get shipped back to wherever shithole they came from. yes, call me racist, and yes, if you want, call me hypocritical. if there WAS a strict white australia policy, i wouldnt be living here right now, let alone alive. but i have no other way of expressing it. its not that i am without words, its without way of enforcing what the government is too weak to. i do not think ANYONE should be allowed to break the law, and these foreigners need to respect that. they need to understand that the law DOES apply to them, they need to realise that living in this country is a priveledge, NOT a right. just as fast as they came, they should be shipped back to their desert and left to rot. i have no time for ANY of this. hatge mefor saying it as i have, but thats your choice.

any delinquents reading this, whether aussie or foreign, if i ruled the country (which unfortunately i dont) your ass would be on a rickety boat back to your dirty country, never to return. now if only john howard could grow a backbone and do more than just talk about it on radio.

Monday, December 12, 2005

hehe omg somepoor senior uk citizen got booked for doing 770mph over the speed limit lol. read more here.

w000000t i went go karting tonight after a VERY long time (last time i went was in darwin, bout 5 or 6 years ago) and damn this is so much fun!...i am now an "advanced driver"...i even have a special yellow license!! lol, went with my best friend and some other was really fun...shame i didnt snap any piccies tho :(...though there wasnt much to snap :P

haha everyone should try this out...its is *NOT* porn, just little thumbs of what could be mistaken for porn, but when u click the piccie, it shows u that really, its not what your dirty little mind was thinking it was...or should i say what you wanted it to be ;)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

"10 Juli" by mzie on Flickr

"British Museum - atrium" by bk and wt on Flickr

this is the atrium in the famous British Museum

"The Scare @ Homebake" by dreadfuldan on Flickr

this is an incredibly INCREDIBLY good shot. here is what the comment for the photo is:

This band from Queensland put on a great live show with a lead singer who comes across as rather unhinged. At one point he was leaning down, screaming into the mic, i was taking photos and he lunged towards me and pretty much tackled me to the ground. Not in an aggressive way, more in a "i wonder what would happen if i did this" sort of way. After i picked myself up he just lay their continuing to sing from the floor.

I like a frontman (or woman) who is a little bit crazy, where you never know what they'll do next. Much more entertaining to watch.

"IM000434" by Whatserface on Flickr

"Pocoyo" by Avid Maxfan on Flickr

hehehe i just watched the cutest show, its on the abc at 3.55 and its this little boy, a ducky and an elephant, a puppy and bird.

these are some pics someone has taken of their tv while watching pocoyo ^_^

"IM000438" by Whatserface on Flickr

"Pocoyo" by Avid Maxfan on Flickr

wow...a reporter for The Australian has blatently copied (verbatim) some parts of a article an american blog site had published. i wonder if rupert knows how shoddy his newspaper's reporters are? See more here

"Jelly" by tarotastic on Flickr

this is the OPPOSITE of how im feeling right now...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

yuugure chiisana kage ga hashaide
watashi o toorisugi ieji e kaette yuku
ano hi anata to konna fuukei
okutte kawashita ne
futari dake no takaramono o

kokoro de musubareta yakusoku
ima mo ima mo taisetsu ni
idaite itsuno hi ka anata ni atte soshite
hataseru sonna hi o
watashi shinjinagara sugoshitemasu

ima goro doko ni iru no deshou ka?
kawashita yakusoku kokoro ni mada aru kana
kisetsu watatte shibatta keredo
kawarazu ano koro no anata dato negatte imasu

omokage musurettemo yakusoku
ima mo ima mo kono mune no mannaka o atsuku shite
shikkari kokoro kokoro musubareteru
koto o watashi shinjinagara matteimasu

anata ni aetanara yakusoku sotto sotto
tazunetai ano hi no futari e to modoreru
naraba douka mouichido
yakusoku shite ne shinjinagara inottemasu

i cant remember the last time i liked someone. liked as in like liked. i guess its cos i just havent had the thoughts going through my mind. no need for someone to like or love, no need to share those feelings with anyone...i guess i just shut it all off so didnt get hurt again. ive liked someone for a while now. actually more love. ive loved someone for a while now. and i knmow its love cos i cant seem to put them aside, even thought i know sometimes i should. but love isnt always about happiness, its about care and affection. its about making sure the person is happy, and safe, making them feel cheery when they are down and to be there for them whenever they need you. sometimes i think to myself why do i love this person. sometimes they can be a bit cruel and thoughtless. but for some reason, that doesnt stop me. at first i thought it was love, then as time went on, i thought it could be all another delusion, like my past experiences have been. at first it seems good, but then it deteriorates because the other person isnt caring enough. but then i thought to myself whether or not it was me expecting too much. i dont think so, everybody else seems to have it the same.


i dont even know why im writing this. i am so stupid sometimes. i wonder what my future holds. i used to be so sure. i used to be so confident. now im just a shy, worried cynic. i guess ive always been cynical though. oh well

what to do now. just keep living this existence.

not much else to do.

i havent blogged in a little while...not really had much to say. i fainted the other day...that was interesting...hasnt happened in a few months. ummm oh i got a new psp game, and its cool. and thats about it. i am so bored. been hanging out a lot with my ex and those mopb, havent seen them in about a year, its good to hang out with people who know me again. like, i dont want to be much like that anymore, but its a huge load off my back when i know i can hang out with people of my own type...per se.

Monday, December 05, 2005

oh - my - god. thats all i can seem to say right now. i have just gotten my hands on a copy of aperture, and it is so fantastic. it is fast (even on a 1.67ghz g4), it is beautiful, and it is simple. it is one of the new apple pro apps, but still it is so simple to use and adapt to. i am not a huge photo buff, i know enough about photography though, and this is beyhond all doubt one of the BEST photo apps out there. iPhoto made a BIG rumble in the photo world, and this is only going to make a bigger one.

anyone who deals with photos a little more than just dragging them off your camera and onto your computer, go out and buy a mac (your not even a real photographer without a mac to edit them on ;)) and then plunk down $700 on aperture. it is DEFINATELY worth it.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

*fwww* im so tired. dont know what to think anymore, dont know what to do. dont know if i should be loving or hating, thinking or braindead. im hoping tomorrow will be more interesting, but seeing as i have work, i doubt it.

"Gingerbread Men 1" by .wilkie on Flickr

"Gingerbread Men 2" by .wilkie on Flickr

"Gingerbread Women" by .wilkie on Flickr

these are gingerbread women (my sister did the one on the left, and mine is on the right...i would have preferred long hair on mine, but my sister did the hair before i could stop her lol)

"Gingerbread man Peter :P" by .wilkie on Flickr

i was making gingerbread men today so i thought i would make an asian ginger bread man for my lil brother and this is him, in gingerbread form lol

the photos are all a bit dodgy cos i took them with my phone

Saturday, December 03, 2005

"Sunset on Pebble Beach #2" by mlog on Flickr

"North Shore & the 16th Street Bridge" by btezra on Flickr

Friday, December 02, 2005

woohoo got gta liberty city stories today for psp ^_^

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Tomorrow is Van Nguyen hanging - an event which will close some doors and open many others. As i have previously said, it is a punishment of the place he was in, but i wish to express the inhumanity, disgusting, grotesque way singaporeans(and few other countries) punish crime. I am not disputing punishment, im disputing capital punishment. No man should have the right to end the life of another, no matter what power or authority he may possess.


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